Pregnancy and childbirth can be an empowering experience and I hope it can be for all mothers. Think about it, your body (with a little help from the dad) made this little miracle. Your body changed and evolved in order to house, develop and birth another human being. Whether the birth was an epidural, natural birth of c-section, it is a beautiful thing that should be celebrated for the baby and the mother. The female body is badass and continues to amaze me, as it did the night James was born. And so, I want to share some pieces of it with you, as I hope our story might inspire and empower you or another woman in your life.

From the moment I found out I was pregnant in April, I knew I wanted to try and have a natural birth. I had hoped to have a natural birth with Gwen, however, did not realize the support and preparation necessary to make that goal a reality. I did not know that simply reading about 'how to prep for birth' and choosing any obygn practice was not enough.I didn’t read a book with James’s birth but rather, invested in experts in various areas to work with and help me hands on. This physical and mental preparation as well as getting the right support system around me during pregnancy and at the birth would make James’s birth more special and empowering than I thought possible.

Important note: I want to reiterate, there are various ways to bring a child into the world. They ALL take strength! All mothers are badass! This story is not to say my way is only way or the RIGHT way of childbirth. No matter if you had or want a natural birth, epidural, or c-section that is your right, your choice, and sometimes, when the safety of the mother and or child is at risk, we do not even have a choice. Throughout our story, I will share why I wanted what I wanted without any judgement for the various other childbirth ways.

I will start with ‘how I prepared for my second birth’ and then going into the story, so feel free to bounce around as to what you are interested in most.

How I prepared for my natural birth

I changed doctors and chose OMG Women’s Healthcare. This is a midwife practice, with their own doulas as well as an OBGYN on staff. More personable and all women run, I have nothing but good things to stay.
John and I met with the doulas (loved them) and had no hesitation paying out of pocket for their services come labor and childbirth.
- My mother (and many people I believe) had no idea what a doula was and didn’t understand why a midwife, not a doctor, would birth the baby. Some family and friends thought I was a little crazy for wanting a natural birth, using a midwife and paying for a doula. Does the doula deliver the baby? What does a doula do? I had A LOT of questions on the matter but really enjoyed educating others on my decision making around James’s birth. More on that in the birth story.
- For those who may be asking the same questions above, Midwifes are Advanced Practice Registered Nurses with decades of evidence showing they are the experts in normal pregnancy, and consistently have exceptional statistics and birth outcomes. A Doula is like a birth advocate and coach. She is a non-healthcare professional who gives continuous physical, emotional, informational support before and throughout labor.
Physically prepared with various stretches, movements, mostly found through @mamastefit as well as Spinning babies. The doulas (four in my practice) recommended both of these resources to follow.
- I worked out up until the day of giving birth scaling and doing less the further I progressed into the pregnancy.
- The last few weeks I was crawling and doing different squat renditions and stretches in order to help get baby where he/she needed to be and get me feeling better.
Worked with a pre/postnatal physical therapist (also friend) who gave me guidance of movements and other ways to prepare for birth that are more hands on in the last five weeks of pregnancy. I also plan to work with her in my postpartum recovery.
Mentally prepared with Gentle Birth app, listening and ‘meditating’ through some of her audios.
Nested (a lot)
Made sure my #1 supporter, John and I were on the same page and also made sure Gwen (big sister) was prepared and understood what was to come (as best as possible).
Prepared my Birth Map at 35 weeks with the help of this resource. I do not call it a ‘plan’ because a plan seems to be set and stone and childbirth is not. Mapping allowed for me to state what I wanted but also allow for change if necessary.
- My Birth Map consisted of, my hospital bag and my husbands hospital bag (which was great for him). I printed it out and went over the entire plan with my midwife (and husband) at the 36 weeks appointment so we were all on the same page and things could be changed if the midwife thought.
- Some birth map wishes: to not be hooked up to a monitor or IV, a non-medical birth, reinstate I will be using a doula, be free to move around, be open to being coached verbally and hands-on, post birth wants (delayed cord clamping, husband announces sex, delaying baby being taken from me to be weighed/given vitamin K shot etc for first hour (aka skin to skin and feeding with mama).
- This was huge for not only me and my confidence and preparation in James’s birth but also for my husband's and my provider.

Again all this preparation gave me and my body more confidence and readiness for labor and the birth of James. And now for James’s birth story….

James’s Birth Story

Thanksgiving at my Moms

My Jamesy has impeccable timing. Thanksgiving was quite a wonderful day in my eyes. John, Gwen and I had a lazy morning in bed, snuggling and watching a movie before enjoying a delicious breakfast and going for a family walk around the neighborhood. I was in charge of the turkey and for some reason ordered a 20# one for the 5 of us haha. I went all out on this Turkey, brining it two days before, followed by drying it in fridge night before thanksgiving. It was insanely delicious to say the least. James, thank you for letting me and my family enjoy this delicious Turkey.

Due to Covid-19 and trying to be cautious we celebrated Thanksgiving with only my mom and my in-laws at my mom’s house. We had a few apps, I had a champagne or two, followed by a little white wine at dinner (no regrets). My heartburn was horrible in pregnancy so I really couldn’t eat too much and even a sip of red wine and most beers usually caused my heartburn to sky rocket. Dinner was delicious as was dessert, then after cleaning everything up, we ended Turkey day celebration with sherades. I was very uncomfortable the entire evening, not able to sit still very much and found some relief on my moms exercise ball. I did some side to side, front back motions and bouncing on it while playing games. I had also been dealing with what felt like ‘period cramps’ that evening. This was nothing new however, as I had these the last week or two. Not even 10 minutes after my in-laws left to go home, I was ‘relaxing’ on my mom’s couch before getting ready to head home for the night when warm water ‘erupted’ in my Lulu pants I was wearing haha. This was around 9pm, I jumped up, rather quickly fortunately for my moms couch proclaiming, ‘oh my god, oh my god, my water broke” Rushing to the bathroom, I sat on the toilet, all of us laughing (John and my mom) with excitement knowing I would be giving birth most likely in the next 24 hours. I called the midwife, and we planned to go home (Gwen stay with my mom) and go to bed until contractions come and become more intense).

With a pair of my moms underwear and a towel around my waist, John and I headed back to our house. I had my first contraction, then three more in our 20 minute card ride home. Breathing through each one. Another one as I stepped out of the car, I had to stop and focus on my breath. After being home only 10 tor 15 minutes, being on the holier as I was still leaking A LOT and having three to four more, more intense contractions. I told John we needed to head to the hospital. He was very surprised as he had to pretty much coax me to go to the hospital with Gwen.

I called the midwife to update her on our arrival to the hospital, she then got in touch with the doula and said she would meet us in triage before we head to the birthing room.

At the hospital

I was in triage for an 45 minutes or so (John had to wait in the car until I got into my room but my midwife prepared us for this when I last spoke to her). John met me in our birthing room and the midwife hooked the baby monitor on. In a two minute window, we needed two heart accelerations from the baby in order for me to not be monitored. 20 minutes later we were good to go and my doula arrived, perfect timing.

Karishma, my doula, began setting up different ’stations’ for me to work through during contractions and moreover, get the baby positioned best. I loved this, it was kind of like a workout (haha). We did six to eight contractions at each station before moving to the next. Sitting and Shifting side to side or back and forth on a birthing ball while I leaned over the bed, moving back and forth through a mini lunge on a small stool, and different side positions in the bed were the station I remember. Karishma would cue me to relax my shoulders, give me words of affirmation, reassure me throughout that this was normal, this was your body preparing to birth the baby. She also prepped me for positions that ‘are going to suck,’ encouraged me, motivated me. Moreover, she was my birth coach. When my body started shaking like crazy, her and the midwife were there to tell me this is normal, that it was my hormones helping my body prepare for birth. I was pretty crazy, I wasn’t cold, just shaking like crazy.

My final pain relief: the tub

As the contractions became more intense my breathing became louder and more distressed. I may swore a few times as well :-) The mental game that goes through your head is quite fascinating. This natural birth was absolutely physically demanding but just as much mentally as well. The station helped me work through and number the contractions, getting to move to the other side or the next movement after I get through X number of contractions. The doula, reminding me, I can do anything for :30 seconds, for :60 seconds. That the baby is moving down where it needs to be, that I am doing amazing! This could be the athlete in me, but this all helped me mentally. Now, to the bath.

My doula told me in the beginning, that my last relief would be the tub. As getting contractions became more intense, I continue to look more forward to getting into the tub and finally asked for it when the pain was beginning to get unbearable. Unfortunately, my anticipation for the tub was short-lived as it gave me zero relief (haha I laugh at this now). I was so looking forward to the bath, to the relief. I envisioned the bath being like I was floating and it being peaceful. I can’t help but chuckle while writing this. I got in the bath and I felt like I was in even more pain and that I was going to birth the child right then and there. But I was still far from birthing James (without knowing) and the bath made me really hot so after five or six contractions I got out.

Fun fact, I felt like I was going to get sick in the bath, even when I got out. I’ve heard this is normal but the Thanksgiving dinner and dessert earlier that night probably didn’t help. My doula used peppermint oils to help and fortunately I did not throw up in the end. Anyways, I got out of the tub and moved back to the bed, the midwife (I think) telling me hanging over the head of the bed with it raise up and knee where you but would usually be. John told me, after I got out of the tub, the room started getting busier. The midwife and doula knew the baby would be here soon, and the nurses began getting things set up quickly for the birth of the baby. Speaking of John, he was there supporting me in any way he could, holding my hands, arms, legs etc. The doula also gave him some guidance of where to be and what to do. At times I felt bad thinking I was squeezing him too hard or scratching him but he never said anything. Not sure how many contractions I had in that first position on the bed (maybe five) but I asked to switch positions again and demanded for the peanut ball aka I wanted to be laying on my side :-) And this is the position I birthed James.

James arrives & more of my mental game

Laying on my left side, John was in front of me, my right leg was being held up by my doula, and the midwife had a spotlight on the birthing site (again, I chuckle). The room was fairly dark throughout my labor as the doula had (fake) candles on as well as diffuser on putting out calming smells hence, the flashlight was necessary.

I could not tell you how long I pushed for and what was going on around me much because my eyes were closed probably the last hour before James was born. At one point, I even asked the midwife to tell me what was going on. What I was really looking for was a number of contractions left to help me mentally.

I compare it to doing soccer sprint repeats. I always wanted to know how many we were doing to better mentally prepare. I’ve been there where I thought there was only two more sprints, then it turned into four more which made it so much harder mentally and physically. So, bringing us all from the soccer field back to the labor and delivery room….mentally, many times I wanted to give up. I did not vocalize this, rather it was a conversation within my head. ‘Just give up Michele’…’Well you do not have that option, so suck it up, you got this, the baby is almost here!’ Moreover, I know my athletic background and the mental strength it gave me, most definitely helped me in labor.

Shortly after getting on my side, the pushing began. I was told to not ‘force pushing’ as my body should tell me when it’s ready to push. This could not be more spot on! To give you an idea of what I mean, think about the last time you threw up (sorry for the unpleasant reminder). Your body tightens almost instructing you to gag/throw up. Beautiful I know, but this is so similar to how my body told me when to push. The midwife and doula corrected my sound, telling me to lower my yell/push. High pitch means you are tightening. I am very coachable, so was happy for feedback. Pushing was more like low/deep grunting, all while feeling like I was trying to poop a brick.

As the top of James’s hairy head was showing the midwife put warm wash clothes on my peritoneal to help prevent taring. They even asked me I wanted to touch it…I passed. No thank you, I just want the baby out haha. After a few pushes the baby was crowning, one last push and the baby’s head, shoulders and entire body was out. I yelled a moan (at least I think I did) in relief, the baby is here! I did it! Why am I still in so much pain! (why am I chuckling so much telling this story?) It truly WAS amazing though. Going through this work and this pain brought me such a sense of empowerment, joy, pride, and connection with this baby. We both worked so hard together to bring him to this world.

John announced the sex and they placed James on my chest. We did delayed umbilical cord clamping so he was still attached to me for five minutes or so following the birth. John then had the honors of cutting the cord, detaching James from me after 39 weeks and 3 days. How crazy right?! The next hour was for James and I to connect with each other while the midwife ‘cleaned’ me up. The doula also got me a sweet drink following birth. Side note, I was drinking a ton of water and peeing throughout my entire labor since I was not getting any fluids through an IV (bring out own water bottle with a straw ladies).

Post Birth

James was born at 2:53am, only 6 hours after my water broke. John said it was an out of body experience and thinks Doulas need to be used much more often. Our doula was seriously amazing and was a game-changer to get me through labor and get the baby in the right positions.

James couldn’t be healthier; feeding, pooping and sleeping well. My recovery was and still is going well, I am almost three weeks in now. Labor was painful and mentally challenging yet, I would do it again. To feel everything, to be fully present in my body and work for this miracle left me with such a sense of empowerment, astonishment and joy. I am blessed to be able to have the ability to experience all of this.

Closing words

I part you with this….we cannot forget to celebrate the mother and her badassness postpartum, rather than solely focus on the baby. Be apart of the change, love on that newborn babe of course, but also love on and support that badass mama. Her mind and her body have gone through a lot the past 9 months and are still going through a lot in the fourth trimester. And to all those mamas out there, remind yourself you are strong, beautiful and resilient. You brought this child into the world and you deserve to be celebrated and supported. It took nine months for your body to deliver the baby, give yourself at least, nine months to recover fully.

So, let’s celebrate all births, miracle babies, and postpartum mothers. I hope James’s birth story has been enlightening, inspiring, and empowering for you. Now, back to snuggles for me with my baby boy and continuing my recovery, very slow but steady.

James's Birth Story